Thank you. My daughter sent me your article from Our Daily Bread today and I desperately needed it! My 97 year old mother-in-law lives with us. She has for about 18 months and I have had shingles for 9 months. She is very healthy and miserable. She is not a Christian and does not want to hear about it! It seems I spend half the day being angry and the other half asking God to forgive my anger. Thank God for people like you and for Christian daughters who forward your stories. ;o) You may receive this twice as my server went down during my first one. grrrr ;o) Margie
Thank you for writing, Margie. Anger is a natural response to frustration. The important thing is what we do with our anger and how we direct it. First of all, your body is experiencing pain, and your mother-in-law is not showing consideration for your discomfort. She very likely does not have the emotional tools to do so. This can be the case with older people who have become bitter, ungrateful, resentful, jealous, self-centered, or simply uncaring over the course of their lives. This was the case with one of my relatives who did not believe in God and never wanted to hear about anything related to the Bible. The most important thing I did in life was to love her consistently over my lifetime (I admit I didn’t have to live with her!). I rewarded her caregiver with the inheritance my aunt left to me because I believed she deserved it more than I did.
Thank you for your honesty. It is healthy to create boundaries with your mother-in-law. For instance, if your mother is rude or ungrateful, you might consider leaving her home when you go for family outings, shopping, or out for meals. You might also consider placing her in a local adult day care program. Check to see what is offered by your county. Discuss her behavior with your husband and ask for his support. Hopefully, he will be willing to talk to his mother and encourage her toward better behavior. You should not have to tolerate verbal or emotional abuse if her behavior falls into those categories. I would also encourage seeking the advice of a professional counselor–together with your husband, if you and he are both living under the same roof with his mother.
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