How to Find the “Real” You


I’m a child of the sixties and seventies, a time when generations of young people were busy trying to “find themselves.” I was never quite sure what that meant, although it was pretty un-hip to say it outloud at the time. If I pinched myself, I was there. If I spoke, I could hear my voice. I could see my reflection in a mirror. So the “real” me had to be there, right?


My voice, my reflection, the sensations I feel–not even my emotions–don’t make up the essence of who I am.

So who is the “real” me?

I’m not an accident or simply the biological product of the combined genes of my parents and forbears. I am not the offspring of “Mother Nature.”

I am so uniquely, complexly crafted and designed that no one else who has ever walked the earth is exactly like me. God created me with a body, soul, and spirit. He also created me with a purpose and plan, and I will live every day of my life seeking purpose, love, significance, relationship, beauty that originates in Him and can only ultimately be found in Him as our Author and Creator.

When we look at the world, it’s easy to see we messed up the perfect creation God placed in our hands to care for. And we also mess up relationships because of our self-will, selfishness and sin. At the center of our hearts, we all are rebels shaking our fists at God, telling Him He isn’t fair and we should get to make the rules.

When we back away from the Word of God because we think what it says is too hard, or we’re trapped by our wounds, we lose sight of who we really are.

When we walk in freedom as sons and daughters of God we are…

Forgiven and free to forgive. 

Unconditionally loved and free to love unconditionally.

Gifted with mercy and enabled to gift others with mercy.

Inexpressibly beautiful and given eyes to see the beauty in others.

Confident in God’s purpose and plan for us, no matter our circumstances.

The “real” me is rooted in my relationship with God.

In the words of the gospel song, “All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee…to God be the glory” But how do I learn to get to know God better?

The same way you learn about anyone. By spending time with Him. By listening to Him. By paying attention.

  1. Read the Word. The Bible isn’t a manual or rule book or even material for sermons. It’s God’s written letter to us about who He is and how He loves us–what His plan is to save us from ourselves.
  2. Meditate, or actively focus, on Scripture. Focus on one small portion at a time and listen to see what moves your spirit.  Don’t go looking for verses to prove your point or cheer you up. Listen. Pay attention to the Spirit of God speaking to you.
  3. Ask questions.  What is God trying to tell me about Himself? Why is it important for me to know this? How does this affect His relationship with me? How does this relate to my life? Is there something I’m being prompted to change or do?
  4. Listen. As you move through your day, listen for God’s voice. Is He speaking to you through music, through the words of a friend, through a thought, a Christian message on the radio, a sudden memory?
  5. Keep the conversation going. Shoot up sentence prayers throughout the day. Chat with God out loud. Praise God by singing and dancing. Visualize Jesus standing beside you throughout the day–because He is–and talk to Him.

Be blessed as the real you blossoms growing in the presence of Jesus and resting in His love for you. 

To hear more on the topic of authenticity, listen to FreedomGirlsRadio, Finding Your Voice.

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